Wednesday, May 21, 2014
May 20th, 2014 – 3.03 Mile Run
The continued prayer is, “Lord keep me focused. Keep my mind stayed on You. Help me to bring You praise. I know You believe in me. Please help me in my unbelief. Amen.”
I have been remiss in getting my blogging underway, but in my defense, you cannot expect me to be undistracted when Michael Jackson reaches from beyond the grave to not only produce a new album, but to also appear “Live”, onstage at the Billboard Music Awards, performing “new” material!!!!
SEE IT HERE!!
After I got over my initial Weekend-At-Bernie’s vibe , that was slightly creepy, I loved it!!! I thought it was amazingly well done. Technology is miraculous and I can only imagine where this will take us in the future.
Someday soon, I’ll be able to send my Hologram out for an Easy 3 when I’m not in the mood. But until then…..
Off to the Run!!
Since I last wrote, I have been running regularly and I have been working on form and speed. I have even run one organized race. I’d like to run a 10k early next month, but I have not yet registered for it. I’ll post the details when I do.
This is me at the 2014 EIF Revlon Walk for Women’s Cancers. This is me, my mother-in-law and two cousins at the race. This was amazing good fun for me. Halle Berry was there, Bruce Willis, Samantha Harris and a myriad of other celebs who support research for womens’ cancers.
It was a lot of fun. This is me at the Finish. I was proud to wear my “Survivor” hat & bib, but there were far too many “In Memory” bibs.
I walked the first 2-miles with my family, then ran the last mile. It felt great.
My last run (this 3.03 Mile run) was a regular maintenance run. Jordan has one last major project to do before the school year is through, so he works on it at the public library while I get in an easy 3. It’s a beautiful area and makes me love where I live.
My goal on this run was to keep it under a 12 min/mi pace and I was able to do that. I felt good. If I can keep that pace for 6 miles, the 10k PR is in the bag!!!
See ya on the next run…….. and get your Mammogram!!
Monday, April 28, 2014
April 27th, 2014 – Gator Run 10k
The continued prayer is, “Lord keep me focused. Keep my mind stayed on You. Help me to bring You praise. I know You believe in me. Please help me in my unbelief. Amen.”
I know that it has been quite a while since I've posted. But I have been running with *some* regularity for months. I promise. I’ve even run an organized race since the last time you heard from me.
This is me at the Move ‘N’ Groove Bruins 5k last month on the UCLA Campus.
That was *such* a good time! The campus is so beautiful. Being around young, healthy people is a medicine of its own.
Speaking of medicine, dealing with my own health issues is one of the reasons why I’ve excused myself from posting regularly. But it’s a poor excuse. Exercise and Exorcise are very important to me.
Running fills in for the exercise of course, and writing helps me to exorcise the demons that plague my soul. If you’re a runner who’s been on his/her back for an extended period, you know of these demons. The ones who say:
“Why are you running anyway? If running could save you, you would have never gotten Cancer.”
“And what good did running do you once you discovered you had Cancer?! All the lean muscle and low body fat meant you couldn’t even use your own tissue to rebuild your body! What a waste.”
“Now look at you. You have these silicone bags strapped to your chest for the rest of your life, constantly reminding you that you will never be as healthy as you were.”
“Oh look…. You’ve started running again. You’ve lost so much of your fitness. What a shame. You’re so slow, you might as well just have the burger.”
“This new body is weird. It’s not just the GIANT new rack. Running doesn’t feel the same, does it? I wonder what it is….. the extra weight maybe?”
“Better take it easy…. You’re still sick. You’re not the person you used to be. Get used to it.”
“What are you trying to prove? Just quit. No one will fault you for it. Who’s going to tell a Cancer Survivor that she needs to get off her ass?”
Those are the thoughts that run through my mind whilst I am trying to strap on my running shoes and get out the door. I have to confess that sometimes the demons got to me.
Writing helps keep them at bay.
However, running blows their heads off!!!!
I’d been training pretty regularly, but hadn’t covered more than four miles at a time. My runs had been slow and extremely clunky, but my focus hasn’t been speed lately. It’s just been to work on form and to run without pain. That’s been a pretty tall order lately.
My surgery sites (i.e. My knockers) don’t give me as much trouble as they used to. With sufficient support, they’re no trouble at all. Although, after the race yesterday, there was some aching. I felt *great* during the race and the ache didn’t last long, but it was enough to remind me that I am still recovering.
The issue that I am dealing with at present is Shoulder Impingement. Shoulder problems are not uncommon after breast surgery. I ignored it for far too long and now the pain is with me constantly. It’s pretty significant pain, too. Not as bad as passing a stone but far worse than a third degree ankle sprain. It’s been pretty bad.
I’m doing physical therapy twice a week now, hopefully, it will be much better soon.
Now, on to the Race!!!
This was the 8th Annual Gator Run, hosted by the Simi Valley Rotarians. I love these folks. They do good work. This year, they were supporting Special Olympics but they’ve also supported Wounded Warriors in the past. Also, I love to support them cuz they’re in my home town.
It was a beautiful morning, as Spring mornings in Southern California are apt to be.
I was feeling good and even though I hadn’t covered this much distance since my surgery, I had a plan. I was reasonably certain I could get to the Finish, but I wanted to do it comfortably and at a pretty consistent pace.
My plan was to take a salt tab before the start, hydrate every half mile, have another salt tab at mile 3, refuel at mile 4 and hydrate until the end. And above all, to avoid hurting myself!!!
The first 3 miles felt great, though they were slow. It was my plan to start out slowly, but I did a gut check at the 3 mile mark and felt like I could kick just a little harder. So the second loop was a little faster than the first. That felt good.
Speed will come later. And I can wait. I was never really fast anyway. Right now, I wanted to be sure to keep moving. But more than anything, I didn’t want to set back my recovery.
My personal best in the 10k is only about 1:10, so I was hoping to come in before the 1:30 mark. I finished in about 1:20. Not a great time, of course. But really, I was just glad to finish!! And super glad that Chris and Jordan were there to see me do it!!!
This year is going to have to be about recovery, running without pain and just covering the distance!!
Next year, when my Cancer Story is (fingers crossed) firmly behind me, I can start working on speed and maybe even get in a Mud Run or two.
For now, I’m just trying to feel good and get back to fabulous!!!
See ya on the next run..... And get your Mammogram!!!!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
February 17th, 2014 – 3.02 Run
The continued prayer is, “Lord keep me focused. Keep my mind stayed on You. Help me to bring You praise. I know You believe in me. Please help me in my unbelief. Amen.”
This run was just a regular maintenance run. I sprinted between a few road signs, just to see how far I could open up.
There was a slight incline going out and a climb of any kind just wears me out. Always has. Fatigue makes my form slip and when my form slipped my surgery sites protested and reminded me that I am indeed still recovering. So I relaxed on the return turn trip and just let the slight decline carry me home.
Felt GREAT!!
When I got home, I roasted a giant tray of cauliflower and ate the entire mound all by myself while the rest of the family had Chicken Parmesan. I probably should have gotten some protein. Instead I had ice cream. Ah well.
Feels good to be out there.
I was given two samples of a new Energy Gel called Huma. I thought tonight would a good time to try it. It is “all natural” and Chia Seeds based and I really like that. I’m a big fan of chia seeds. They are an almost perfect food source and excellent energy food.
Unlike many Energy Gels, this one went down easily and one packet easily fueled my 3-mile jog. Also I didn’t have the unpleasant cramps and jumpiness that I often get with energy gels packed with preservatives and caffeine.
The strawberry flavor was not bad at all! You can definitely taste the salt, which is par for the course. But it didn’t make me feel overly thirsty during the run.
I gotta say, I recommend it. I’m not sure where it is sold in stores, but it can be had online here.
It was given to me by my mother-in-law (she rocks!), who is a friend of the mother of the creators of this fine product.
I still have an Apple-Cinnamon flavored packet that I’d like to try on a longer run. Maybe this weekend. I’ll let you know how it stands up to greater distance.
Monday, February 17, 2014
February 16th, 2014 - 3.03 Mile Run
The continued prayer is, “Lord keep me focused. Keep my mind stayed on You. Help me to bring You praise. I know You believe in me. Please help me in my unbelief. Amen.”
It has been months and months since I have posted. I would bring you up on every detail, but you would surely get bored. I will just stick with a rather long list of bullet points.
1) I made Breast Cancer my bitch!!
Well, I guess it was just the one bullet point.
Over the past 7 or so months, I have been dealing with a diagnosis that came and rocked my world. I had never been so scared in all my life. It was really… Really….. Rough. All of it.
Not everything went according to plan and believe me, even if it had, it was a really rotten plan to start with! Breast Cancer is a cruel and evil beast and it affects so many wonderful people. I hope that one day, we can be rid of it forever.
I am one of the very lucky ones. My story has a happy ending.
Strangely, the cancer itself is not a problem. Believe it or not, cancer doesn’t hurt. Not at all. I probably had it for years without a single sign or symptom. It’s the treatment that literally knocks you off your feet…. And out of your running shoes.
My friends and family stepped up and took care of me like you wouldn’t believe. The food, the gifts, the company, the love…. Was unbelievable. Even friends who questioned the very existence of God were on their knees on my behalf. It was amazing.
This crazy dude is my hero and the star of all my dreams.
He cooked and cared for me with unrelenting love and patience. I was on my back for 6 weeks and He was there for all of it. He never made me feel anything less than beautiful and sexy. He really loved me through a rough time.
These two knew what was going on and they were very careful with their broken-down mum. Smooches!
These folks were in my corner the entire time, of course. Loving me and helping me when I needed it.
This is Mr. Carpenter, a dear friend, fellow warrior in the fight against cancer, and mentor.
He advised me brilliantly on a number of actions and procedures. Talked me down off a ledge or two. He and his husband, Marc, have been wonderful to me.
They were part of a group of many many people. I couldn’t even begin to name all the wonderful people who helped me through this horrific time: My family and friends, not to mention my surgical teams.
My oncologist is a miracle worker and my plastic surgeons are magicians! It is quite possible that I have come out of this thing even more fabulous than I was when I went in.
And now, On to the Run……
This run was extra special because it was the first doctor-approved run I’d done in many a moon.
As I stated previously, not everything went according to plan. I ended up back on the operating table more times than anyone thought I would and to put it quite mildly, it was getting rather irksome.
After the last emergency procedure, I decided I would follow my doctors’ instructions to the letter and that meant absolutely, positively, no running. None. Not even a little bit.
This meant I had to pass on a fun run that I’d registered for the previous weekend. But I got Devin to run it for me. Thanks, Devin!
But this run was to be different. This time is was ok. Or was supposed to be.
I started out on Sunday morning, just trying to get reacquainted with my body and the act of running. I knew it would be hard. I knew my legs would feel heavy. I knew I would have to take several walk breaks. I knew that I would have to take it *extremely* easily. I geared up and got ready to leave.
I set out with a lot of preconceived notions and I was ready for this fight.
Only it wasn’t a fight.
The very moment that I laced up my running shoes and stood up, my posture changed.
For months, without realizing it, I had developed a rather flat-footed, duck-like waddle, striking with my heel.
But this time, once I’d laced up, I took a step….. and I struck with my toe. This was a good sign. Looked like I was well on my way to becoming a Runner again.
Only I wasn’t.
Becoming a runner again, that is.
Yes, this run was slow. Yes, it was clunky. Yes, my legs felt heavy. And yes, a high percentage of my fitness had been lost. Sacrificed to this demon monster we call “Cancer”.
But it turned out, I had never stopped being a Runner.
My body knew exactly what to do and immediately slid right into a comfortable pace that I had no trouble keeping for 3 miles.
Like many of the wonderfully, beautiful, generous and helpful people in my world, running too, turned out to be a true and faithful friend. Thanks for waiting.
Oh! And, get your mammogram!!!
It has been months and months since I have posted. I would bring you up on every detail, but you would surely get bored. I will just stick with a rather long list of bullet points.
1) I made Breast Cancer my bitch!!
Well, I guess it was just the one bullet point.
Over the past 7 or so months, I have been dealing with a diagnosis that came and rocked my world. I had never been so scared in all my life. It was really… Really….. Rough. All of it.
Not everything went according to plan and believe me, even if it had, it was a really rotten plan to start with! Breast Cancer is a cruel and evil beast and it affects so many wonderful people. I hope that one day, we can be rid of it forever.
I am one of the very lucky ones. My story has a happy ending.
Strangely, the cancer itself is not a problem. Believe it or not, cancer doesn’t hurt. Not at all. I probably had it for years without a single sign or symptom. It’s the treatment that literally knocks you off your feet…. And out of your running shoes.
My friends and family stepped up and took care of me like you wouldn’t believe. The food, the gifts, the company, the love…. Was unbelievable. Even friends who questioned the very existence of God were on their knees on my behalf. It was amazing.
This crazy dude is my hero and the star of all my dreams.
He cooked and cared for me with unrelenting love and patience. I was on my back for 6 weeks and He was there for all of it. He never made me feel anything less than beautiful and sexy. He really loved me through a rough time.
These two knew what was going on and they were very careful with their broken-down mum. Smooches!
These folks were in my corner the entire time, of course. Loving me and helping me when I needed it.
This is Mr. Carpenter, a dear friend, fellow warrior in the fight against cancer, and mentor.
He advised me brilliantly on a number of actions and procedures. Talked me down off a ledge or two. He and his husband, Marc, have been wonderful to me.
They were part of a group of many many people. I couldn’t even begin to name all the wonderful people who helped me through this horrific time: My family and friends, not to mention my surgical teams.
My oncologist is a miracle worker and my plastic surgeons are magicians! It is quite possible that I have come out of this thing even more fabulous than I was when I went in.
And now, On to the Run……
This run was extra special because it was the first doctor-approved run I’d done in many a moon.
As I stated previously, not everything went according to plan. I ended up back on the operating table more times than anyone thought I would and to put it quite mildly, it was getting rather irksome.
After the last emergency procedure, I decided I would follow my doctors’ instructions to the letter and that meant absolutely, positively, no running. None. Not even a little bit.
This meant I had to pass on a fun run that I’d registered for the previous weekend. But I got Devin to run it for me. Thanks, Devin!
But this run was to be different. This time is was ok. Or was supposed to be.
I started out on Sunday morning, just trying to get reacquainted with my body and the act of running. I knew it would be hard. I knew my legs would feel heavy. I knew I would have to take several walk breaks. I knew that I would have to take it *extremely* easily. I geared up and got ready to leave.
I set out with a lot of preconceived notions and I was ready for this fight.
Only it wasn’t a fight.
The very moment that I laced up my running shoes and stood up, my posture changed.
For months, without realizing it, I had developed a rather flat-footed, duck-like waddle, striking with my heel.
But this time, once I’d laced up, I took a step….. and I struck with my toe. This was a good sign. Looked like I was well on my way to becoming a Runner again.
Only I wasn’t.
Becoming a runner again, that is.
Yes, this run was slow. Yes, it was clunky. Yes, my legs felt heavy. And yes, a high percentage of my fitness had been lost. Sacrificed to this demon monster we call “Cancer”.
But it turned out, I had never stopped being a Runner.
My body knew exactly what to do and immediately slid right into a comfortable pace that I had no trouble keeping for 3 miles.
Like many of the wonderfully, beautiful, generous and helpful people in my world, running too, turned out to be a true and faithful friend. Thanks for waiting.
Oh! And, get your mammogram!!!
Monday, November 4, 2013
November 2nd, 2013 – The Hard Rock CafĂ© Hollywood 5k
The continued prayer is, “Lord keep me focused. Keep my mind stayed on You. Help me to bring You praise. I know You believe in me. Please help me in my unbelief. Amen.”
This race meant so so so much to me! And I’m glad because it was WONDERFUL!!! It turned out to be 20 times more wonderful than I hoped it’d be when I registered for it.
First of all, I registered for it on or around the same day that my surgical team scheduled my Double Mastectomy. I felt like there were so many horrible things on my calendar, with all the testing and Pre-Op appointments. I wanted something that (1) I had just a tiny bit of control over and (2) was fun!!!!
There was a Half Marathon in my area at the end of October that I knew was too ambitious. However, this race date was well after my surgery and the distance was short enough that I felt like I’d be able to at least get to the Finish, even if I had to walk it….. slowly.
My doctors were ok with me scheduling the race at first, but then we didn’t get clean margins and I had to go back in. Shortly after the second surgery, I developed an infection. It was looking like I wasn’t going to make it to the Start Line.
My doctors told me to forget about it, that there would be other races.
They were right, of course. And Chris agreed with them. But…..
As any runner will tell you, once you’ve paid your race fees, something just takes over your brain!! Not doing a race that you’ve paid for just seems like the HEIGHT of ridiculous!!! Like turning down a glass of wine or saying, "Michael Jackson's not AWESOME!" It just doesn’t make sense!!!!
I didn’t want to hurt myself or set back my recovery, but I was determined to make it to the Start Line!!
After much rest, healing, being a good girl and whining about it at every appointment, I was cleared to start running a week before this race!! My Oncologist’s exact words were: “Yes. Run. You will be much happier if you run.”
At that point, I hadn’t run for 7 weeks and my fitness had taken a serious hit. I started out planning to walk it.
When I finally got my first run in, it really wasn’t that bad. Once again, Running showed itself to be far more faithful to me than I had been to it! After 7 weeks of complete rest and dense food (awesome!), my legs felt heavy but not horrible. I meant to go out for a 1-mile run, per my doctor’s instructions, but I really felt fine. I finished the entire 3-mile loop.
It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t elegant. I took it very easily, allowed myself to rest at traffic lights and I got through it!!! After that, I felt like I could do it! I could actually RUN this race!
I started training to maintain a 12-minute mile. It didn’t start out well, but it got better and I was finally able to do it without excessive pain afterward. I felt good!!!
So then it was Race Day!!!
And it was WONDERFUL!!!
I woke up early, which is typical of Race Day. A 4am start was necessary, for there was much to do!
I was already packed. My clothes and gear were laid out the night before. I had to leave early to meet friends who were going to the race with me! And we were taking the train!!
This is quite a BIG deal for me, as I am most often alone at a race. This time my friend Paul had agreed to come with his husband, Marc. They had never been to a race before and agreed to be my entourage, take many pictures and carry my gear. You can't that!!!
I met them at their home and I gorged on blueberry pancakes, coffee and bacon!! Marc is an excellent chef! Mmmm…..
Then it was off to the race!!!
This is us on the subway!! A new experience for me! I had never been on the Subway before!
Of course Hollywood is a magical place with much to see! I had an eye out for only one person, The King of Pop!!
This was the inaugural event, but it was *very* well attended.
I was a little stressed and quite nervous. My body had changed rather drastically since my last race. Not to mention, the 10 extra lbs I'd gained! What if this new body wasn’t structured for racing? What if I just couldn’t do it? What if my new “mechanics” made it so that I no longer found joy in it? What if my new form made it so that I hurt in places I never did before? What if I just flat out didn’t like it anymore?!?!?!!
Running had become such a huge part of my life over the past 3 years. What if my recent illness had damaged our “friendship” or severed it completely?! What if my relationship with running had changed forever and I had to find something else to make me ME again?
These were the thoughts going through my mind as I was lined up, listening to final announcements and the “National Anthem”.
And then the gun fired (or in this case a horn blast)…
I was off.
Suddenly, I was no longer a wife with chores to do. I was no longer a mom with faces to wipe and owies to kiss. I was no longer an employee with reports to finish and accounts to balance. And I was no longer a cancer patient who was unsure of her future.
I was a runner. The part of my being that I thought was damaged, perhaps beyond repair, was back. No body knew that I'd been sick. No body knew that I'd been cut open and gutted like a fish. No body knew that 6 weeks ago I wasn't strong enough hold my own head up or walk across my room. No body knew that 4 weeks ago I was paralyzed with pain and fear. No body could see my scars. No body could see my weakness.
All that could be seen was a runner.
Did I PR? Of course not. But I didn’t expect that. I hadn’t trained for that. That’s not what this race was about. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t note that I kept a 11:18 pace, which is 0:42 faster than I had trained for.
After the race, we took the subway back to Mark & Paul’s house and ate the rest of the pancakes. They were DELICIOUS!! I got to tour their house and enjoyed their company generally. They’re great!!
So this race was extra special for a good many reasons. A milestone, a good time, a good pace and good friends! Thanks Marc & Paul!! Much love to you both.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
October 28th, 2013 – Ductal Carcinoma In-Situ (DCIS)
The continued prayer is, “Lord keep me focused. Keep my mind stayed on You. Help me to bring You praise. I know You believe in me. Please help me in my unbelief. Amen.”
It has been quite awhile since I’ve posted. In fact, I’ve never gone this long without posting. I’ve thought about it many times but…… *sigh*
Let’s just get started.
Many things have happened since my last post. First of all, I was diagnosed with early stages of Breast Cancer, Ductal Carcinoma In-Situ (DCIS). Fortunately, it was caught very early. Still, I underwent a Double Mastectomy and had immediate reconstruction.
This was quite a blow for me. I am still dealing with it. There are times when I still can’t believe this is actually happening to me. I’m not sure how long denial is supposed to go on but I seem to have frequent recurrences.
Everything happened really quickly and really slowly. Once I was diagnosed, surgery was scheduled and both my breasts were taken. Then it was the long slog of recovery (which is still in progress).
That’s the story in a nutshell. The whole story is following:
Your life changes completely for a time, when a doctor tells you that you have cancer. It gets better after a while, but for a time CANCER is all you hear. Everything else just sounds like white noise. It’s a scary time.
You are faced with your own mortality and until you get more information, you don’t know how things will play out and the worst options present themselves with startling regularity. If like me, you are one who prays, you’ll find yourself praying the panic away constantly.
However, if you’re lucky like me, you have an army of friends who will be there to fight beside you. The pic at the top of this post is me with my good friend Christine, who upon learning of my condition, scooped me up for a Birthday Brunch in beautiful Westlake Village. While we were out, she set up a page on Sign-Up Genius so friends and family could sign up to drop off meals and even clean my house! It was wonderful!!! My family and I ate so well during my recovery that it’s a miracle I only gained 5 lbs (plus the weight of the new boobs).
The Muddy Dragons sent a beautiful card. I love those girls and I can’t wait to get out there and get dirty with them again!!!
They also sent these super awesome Under Armor running shoes! Pink, in support of Breast Cancer Awareness!! Cool!
My BIG Brother Frank, also came to be with me for my surgery. This is us, the night before surgery. I couldn’t eat anything after midnight that day, so we had a late dinner at TGIFriday’s. Frank and I also went running the night before surgery. It was just what I needed.
The next day was the BIG Day!!!
First I met with my Surgical Oncologist, Dr. Leslie Memsic. She is GREAT!!! I was referred to her by my gynecologist, where all this started.
Then I conferred with the medical staff at TOSH (Thousand Oaks Surgical Hospital). They are also great. TOSH is a wonderful facility.
I was to undergo a Double Mastectomy and immediate Reconstruction. I was scared to death!! The hope was that surgery would be 100% curative for me and I wouldn’t have to undergo radiation or chemo. I prayed with my family for a successful surgery, no surprises and clean margins.
A kiss from my best guy before I went in.
Long Story Short, the surgery was reasonably successful! We would learn later that we didn’t get clean margins and would have to go back in, but at the time, all was good! This is me at the hospital. Christine was one of the many many people who was with me while I walked through the Valley of the Shadow.
I had visitors galore!! Runner friends, Sarah & Kathy. High school friends, Rena & Sherri. My family: My Dad, Miss Monica, My Mom, My Brother. Of course Chris and the kids were there. Work friends, Paul & Lily came by too. Paul stayed and read the poetry of Maya Angelou to me while I was under heavy anesthesia (that’s a tall order for a White guy! Just sayin’.)
The girls from work had flowers sent to the hospital. My brother-in-law & his girlfriend also sent flowers. So did Kathleen from church. I was showered with love.
But it was time to leave the comfort, support and drugs of the hospital and start my recovery process.
Many things happened during this time. You’d get bored if I named them all so, I’ll just hit the highlights.
First of all, meals came from all over the place! My friends really stepped up in this area. Food started arriving on the day of surgery (September 9th) and didn’t stop for 4 weeks!! It was great!!
Shortly after I got home, after surgery and days on end of heavy painkillers, my body reacted as most bodies do and locked up!!! For 6 days, NO bowel movements! That might be fine for a day or two, maybe even 3 or 4. After 6 days, I was in considerable discomfort. After a brief Internet search, I discovered that the best natural laxatives are (1) Raw Organic, Unfiltered Apple Cider Vinegar and (2) Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
I responded like most runners do. Balls out! I figured if one is good, both must be better! So having the ingredients on hand, I concocted this Vinegar and Olive Oil potion, poured it into a shot glass and threw it back!!
30 Minutes later, I was on the toilet weeping and moaning, but very much cleared up. It blew right through me. Awesome!
As I started to feel a little better, the first thing I wanted to do was get out of the house and get some exercise. I’d been told that running was out of the question for several weeks, but I’d been cleared to walk short distances as long as I didn’t move my arms too much.
At this time, I was still hooked up to a catheter with anesthesia pumping directly to the major incision sites and 4 drains, Two on each breast. I’d post a pic, but you *really* don’t want to see that. Instead, I’ll post this pic of me and Jayda, walking home from After Care. It’s about a half mile walk and was just enough at the time, as I tired quickly and extra movement generated more fluid. You can’t see all of my tubes & bulbs, but they’re there. The pouch at my waist is holding it all.
As I mentioned before, 3 days after surgery, I got the call from my doctor that we didn’t get clean margins. I would be given 2 weeks from surgery to recover and I’d have to go back in. This was a quick procedure and I was back at home on the same day, very tired and discouraged. This set my recovery back a few weeks.
But it was worth it! Three days after that surgery, we got the word that the margins were clean and I was completely cancer free!!!!
My father and Miss Monica happened to be visiting that day so we went out and I raised a glass with my Old Man! It was great!!!
Two Cancer Survivors! Praise GOD!!!
*SIGH*
Now it was time for me to start recovering with a little exercise and my own brand of Physical Therapy.
First, and most horribly, I learned that a dear friend of mine had also been diagnosed with breast cancer. I felt just as helpless as anyone else might feel when they learn that a loved one has cancer. All I could do, especially in my current state, was be there for her. She is super strong and has an amazing support system, so she will come through this with flying, beautiful colors. Her name is Cynthia and she is undergoing chemo-therapy right now. Prayers for her would be greatly appreciated.
I think an essential part of healing is loving and helping other people. Paying it Forward is easy with people as wonderful as Cynthia.
Secondly, I had to start learning how to function while on heavy painkillers. I was scheduled to return to work in about a week and I hadn't managed to stay conscious for more than about 4 hours straight. Also, my brain was so fuzzy, I was barely able to hold a conversation. If I was going to go back to work and be useful, I was going to have to train myself to employ high levels of concentration for long periods of time, while sitting and using my arms as I would on a computer keyboard.
To me, that sounded like….. A puzzle! And if I’m doing a puzzle, you can bet your last money, Michael Jackson’s gonna be the subject of it!!!
As I was getting stronger, I was able to go out a little more and actually dress like a girl. This is a pic of me, starting to bounce back a little. I still had drains attached. As you can see, I still have my pouch around my neck, holding the bulbs. But I’m starting to look like my old self!
I was blessed by a visit from my Dad and Miss Monica. This time, they brought my Grandmother!!! She is my hero and my mentor. She had been praying for me the entire time. She has a special relationship with God and her prayers get answered. With her on my side, I knew all would be OK. She’s wonderful!!!
In mid October, I got my drains out! That was a wonderful day! It had been 5 weeks. They are awkward and cumbersome and nearly impossible to dress or sleep in. It was so nice to be free of them. Deny it if you want, but you know you’re curious!!! Here they are.
My doctors did a fine job. As I’m sure you can tell, they were able to spare the nipples, which is unusual for a breast cancer patient. Normally, they have to take all the breast tissue, which includes the nipples and often have to take quite a lot of skin. I was able to keep my skin envelope as well as both nipples. I was grateful for that.
These are Expanders, temporary medical devices, used after a mastectomy to stretch the skin and keep it from contracting, as it would instinctively do after large portions of tissue are removed. These will stay in until late December, then be replaced by the permanent silicone implants.
After the drains were gone, I had to wait a few days for the entry sites to close up. Then I was ready to start rebuilding my fitness. I wasn’t quite ready, but the Relay for Life walk was in town. I *had* to go! I was humbled and honored to be counted among the Survivors and wear a sash for the day. It was great!
I was still working toward getting back to work and training myself to do concentration exercises. Puzzle #2. Done!
After my first week back at work full time, I was ready to see if I could get a maintenance run in. At my last visit, 3 days before, I asked my doctor if I could go running. She finally cleared me to go. She said to take it very easily and to start out slowly. I was so glad to be geared up again and ready for my first run in MONTHS!!!
It was slow and clunky, of course. I could certainly feel the 5 lbs I’d gained while I was recovering. My legs felt heavy, as I knew they would. But it felt *great*!!! Wonderful to be back out there.
The weather had turned cold and the days had gotten shorter. All evidence that life goes on and time still passes, no matter what is going on in our lives.
I got another run in today. I may not be completely back to my old self, I still have a few more hoops to jump through, but I’m close…. And it’s nice to have come full circle.
Thank you to Everyone to who helped, served and prayed.
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